my 74 year old mom is singing dormtainment’s booty in the air while standing up/sitting down in her chair.

I could die happy right now.

darrynek:

the nominees are

• leonardo dicaprio
• leonardo dicaprio
• leonardo dicaprio
• leonardo dicaprio
• leonardo dicaprio

and the winner is *opens envelope*

• adele

I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know? Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.

chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and music til I K.O.

and I get to sleep in since I don’t go to work til noon…

sweetness.